Every mirchi vada in Jodhpur, ranked by a man who shouldn't have

Day one: Shahi Samosa near the clock tower. Day one, forty minutes later: the stall opposite, out of spite. By day three I had a spreadsheet.

The winner is a nameless cart in the lane behind Sardar Market that only runs from 4pm. The chilli is the length of your hand and they slit it and stuff it with spiced potato so it barely burns. ₹25.

Drink a makhaniya lassi after. Not before. I learnt this the hard way.